This weekend utterly sucked.
Long story short, my parents got into a major fights that included lots of yelling, screaming, and door slamming. Saturday night ended with my Dad dramatically waltzing out of the house, slamming the garage door shut, and driving off to his stupid friends house. I had to comfort my poor shaking mother while my Dad was out drinking a beer with his no good friend and watching an ASU football game. Bastard. (excuse my language but I am so sick of him.)
I had to text him for my mom who was so shaken that she could barely function that he had to stay at a hotel because his behavior was not acceptable. Thank God he didn't put up a fight. The night was spent with me comforting my Mom and wondering why my Dad had to be such an inconsiderate douchbag. (against, sorry for the language.)
I don't even understand was the fight was about. Basically, my Dad was upset with my Mom because she wasn't overly enthusiastic about watching the ASU football game with him. Seriously?! SHE NEVER LIKED FOOTBALL AND HE KNOWS IT. He then proceeded to rehash old things he says in every fight such as: You don't cook enough, you don't spend enough time with me, you don't have enough fun, etc...
She has cooked for him so much before and he never ate it, and it was perfectly fine.
Then he had the nerve to bring me into it. "You don't feed our daughter properly, she should be eating blah blah blah for breakfast... etc." All of what he was saying was untrue and made no sense, which means that he was just feeling defensive for no reason and felt like picking a fight. He was just a little boy throwing a temper tantrum. It's embarrassing when your 49 year old dad is less mature that his 14 year old daughter.
I feel so sick of him. It almost seemed like they were going to get a divorce, and I found myself hoping they would. Isn't that awful? I was hoping that we could erase my dad out of our lives.
Today, Sunday, Dad went to a football game before he came home. I can't believe he even had the nerve.
I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
He is my Dad and I love him, but I really hate him. Sigh.
He came home and said sorry to me and my mom, but I don't think I will ever be able to accept it. Dinner was awkward, everyone was silent. My Dad knew what he did was incredibly wrong, and he admits it every time something like this happens, but I am tired of dealing with the little boy with the temper tantrums.
By the time everyone was done eating, we just sat in complete silence, staring at the table. I don;t remember how long it was, but it felt like forever. The whole time, there was this voice inside my head saying,"Move along little human. Come on. Stop pondering over how sad things are right now. Stop pondering about how sad it is that you don't have a dependable father. Come on. Move your plate. Clear your dishes. Say goodnight. Go to bed. Cry, little human. Cry,"
My subconscious isn't helping me get through this.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Bittersweet Birthday
This post was made 10/24/14
I miss writing so much. I need to make blog posts more often.
Yesterday was my 14th birthday (10/23/14). It was a very bittersweet day. It was great but also very depressing. Why on earth is any birthday depressing, you ask? Last year, on October 23, 2013, my 13th birthday, my grandfather died a few hours before I was born, on October 23, 2000.
Not a pleasant thought.
I don't understand why it upsets me. It almost makes me angry, in a way. I don't want to sound like a total selfish jerk, but I feel angry at my grandfather for dying on that day. Seriously. I cringed just writing that sentence, but it's the truth. Many people keep on saying that it was him sending me a message that he loves me, but seriously? Someone purposefully dying on a persons birthday as an act of love? Makes no sense to me. If you are going to die, die on the day when you feel like it, not on your granddaughters birthday.
He probably didn't purposefully die on my birthday, but that's just how it feels. Out of all days, you choose that one. So yeah, last years birthday utterly sucked. My whole entire family was crying on my birthday, trying not to cry in my presence so I wouldn't feel hurt that all we were doing was mourning rather than celebrating. The best feeling I got on that birthday was when I finally got to collapse into my bed and become completely oblivious to the outside world and everything in it, especially my grandfathers death.
So of course, this year, my mom was crying on my birthday. I don't want her to bottle it up, but then why didn't she cry the days before? I feel awful for sounding like a selfish child, but I cannot help feeling this way.
Hopefully next years birthday is better.
Love you all,
Bojo
I miss writing so much. I need to make blog posts more often.
Yesterday was my 14th birthday (10/23/14). It was a very bittersweet day. It was great but also very depressing. Why on earth is any birthday depressing, you ask? Last year, on October 23, 2013, my 13th birthday, my grandfather died a few hours before I was born, on October 23, 2000.
Not a pleasant thought.
I don't understand why it upsets me. It almost makes me angry, in a way. I don't want to sound like a total selfish jerk, but I feel angry at my grandfather for dying on that day. Seriously. I cringed just writing that sentence, but it's the truth. Many people keep on saying that it was him sending me a message that he loves me, but seriously? Someone purposefully dying on a persons birthday as an act of love? Makes no sense to me. If you are going to die, die on the day when you feel like it, not on your granddaughters birthday.
He probably didn't purposefully die on my birthday, but that's just how it feels. Out of all days, you choose that one. So yeah, last years birthday utterly sucked. My whole entire family was crying on my birthday, trying not to cry in my presence so I wouldn't feel hurt that all we were doing was mourning rather than celebrating. The best feeling I got on that birthday was when I finally got to collapse into my bed and become completely oblivious to the outside world and everything in it, especially my grandfathers death.
So of course, this year, my mom was crying on my birthday. I don't want her to bottle it up, but then why didn't she cry the days before? I feel awful for sounding like a selfish child, but I cannot help feeling this way.
Hopefully next years birthday is better.
Love you all,
Bojo
Friday, October 24, 2014
SCREAMING
*This post was made on 10/1/14 (I think) and published 10/24/14
So, I might be panicking. And I am not entirely sure why, but I don't feel like it's a bad thing.
Let me just run my week down for you.
Monday was a wiz of alarm clock smacking and hair fussing, Tuesday was a long stretch of numbness and boredom, and then there's today. Wednesday. The weirdest, most fantastic Wednesday so far. Why is this Wednesday so fantastic? WHERE DO I BEGIN?
Birthday invitations, Wizard teacher, Book club friends, announcement of a musical, and an explosion of OH MY GOD WHAT.
Birthday invitations- Some random girl who doesn't even know my name invited me to her birthday party. Apparently her parents were allowing her to invite 175 people to her party (weird, right?) and out of all 175 people for her to invite, I became one of them. Why am I so happy about this? No clue, I'm probably not going to go because I don't even know her, but still. It started my day off right.
Wizard teacher- Picture this: You walk into your first class of the day, English. Sigh, least favorite class. Suddenly your teacher is buzzing around the room, filling the air with the most ecstatic and wonderful feeling in the world. She is teaching about main and helping verbs, boring, right? NOPE. She just randomly bursts out with OMG'S and SMH'S and wonderful Latin phrases and she is just the most wonderful, most alive person in the room, and there is something about it that is purely amazing. Keep in mind, this woman is well into her late 50's, maybe even here early 60's, and she always finds this strange but exciting way to fill the room with this bright feeling, and she makes the morning bearable.
Book club friends- I have recently become great friends with some girls and this one boy at my school. Their fake names will be cupcake, skittles, and starburst, because those are the nicknames they chose for themselves a few days ago. My nickname is snicker. I call us the sugar sweeties. Anyways, at lunch today, cupcake announced that she thinks we should start our own private book club. We all agreed, and when we went to the library after lunch we each got the first hunger games book. Over this next week we are going to try and finish it and then discuss it with each other. I simply cannot wait. My mom even proposed to hold a library club after school! (she is the librarian so she can help with clubs). Gosh, I love my friends.
Musical announcement- Every year my school holds a musical. They always make us guess which one until the day before the break, although I got a tip from a friend. He said it was Wizard of Oz because he did some research from the clues our drama teacher gave us. He was right! I was so pumped, and a couple people have told be that I should be the Wicked Witch of the West, which I am so up for. I hope I get the part, I think it will be so much fun!
THE AWAITED EXPLOSION OF OH MY GOD WHAT- This was the highlight of my day. I swear I don't even know what happened, I am still in shock. Lemme just take this slow and try to sort out what happened.
After school every Wednesday a math club is held in the computer lab, which is attached to the library, which is where my mom works, so I sit at her desk after school until we go home. All these people from math club are coming in, and my friend SM (not her real name) stops by to give me a hug and chat. As we are chatting, this boy, who I guess she is friends with, stops at the desk and is kind of looking me over, I guess you could say. He didn't look like a junior higher, so I kind of assumed that he was in sixth grade. Out of no where he just says,"Is this your friend?" Sammy just nods kind of confused, like no duh why else would I be chatting with her. Then he goes,"Well, she's really pretty. I mean, prettier than most girls." AND THEN HE JUST WALKS AWAY. AND ME AND SAMMY ARE SITTING THERE HAVING A SEIZURE.
I am not even kidding. Her face is buried in a book shelf, and I am practically hiding in my folder among my math papers. Her and I are both squealing like little teenage fan girls, and I swear I was so shocked. Then she pats me on the shoulder and walks away, and I'm just sitting there with my mouth wide open and I cannot believe I haven't started hyperventilating yet. A boy has NEVER, let me repeat NEVER said anything like that to me. The closest I have ever gotten to a complement like that was some random guy telling me I seemed really smart.
Then after the club is over he stops by the desk and says,"What's your name?" And I'm thinking oh crap oh crap what he wants my name what is my name hOW DO I NOT REMEMBER MY OWN NAME WHAT and I just kind of blurted it out, he repeated it, smiled at me and left.
I'm still in complete and utter shock.
So, I might be panicking. And I am not entirely sure why, but I don't feel like it's a bad thing.
Let me just run my week down for you.
Monday was a wiz of alarm clock smacking and hair fussing, Tuesday was a long stretch of numbness and boredom, and then there's today. Wednesday. The weirdest, most fantastic Wednesday so far. Why is this Wednesday so fantastic? WHERE DO I BEGIN?
Birthday invitations, Wizard teacher, Book club friends, announcement of a musical, and an explosion of OH MY GOD WHAT.
Birthday invitations- Some random girl who doesn't even know my name invited me to her birthday party. Apparently her parents were allowing her to invite 175 people to her party (weird, right?) and out of all 175 people for her to invite, I became one of them. Why am I so happy about this? No clue, I'm probably not going to go because I don't even know her, but still. It started my day off right.
Wizard teacher- Picture this: You walk into your first class of the day, English. Sigh, least favorite class. Suddenly your teacher is buzzing around the room, filling the air with the most ecstatic and wonderful feeling in the world. She is teaching about main and helping verbs, boring, right? NOPE. She just randomly bursts out with OMG'S and SMH'S and wonderful Latin phrases and she is just the most wonderful, most alive person in the room, and there is something about it that is purely amazing. Keep in mind, this woman is well into her late 50's, maybe even here early 60's, and she always finds this strange but exciting way to fill the room with this bright feeling, and she makes the morning bearable.
Book club friends- I have recently become great friends with some girls and this one boy at my school. Their fake names will be cupcake, skittles, and starburst, because those are the nicknames they chose for themselves a few days ago. My nickname is snicker. I call us the sugar sweeties. Anyways, at lunch today, cupcake announced that she thinks we should start our own private book club. We all agreed, and when we went to the library after lunch we each got the first hunger games book. Over this next week we are going to try and finish it and then discuss it with each other. I simply cannot wait. My mom even proposed to hold a library club after school! (she is the librarian so she can help with clubs). Gosh, I love my friends.
Musical announcement- Every year my school holds a musical. They always make us guess which one until the day before the break, although I got a tip from a friend. He said it was Wizard of Oz because he did some research from the clues our drama teacher gave us. He was right! I was so pumped, and a couple people have told be that I should be the Wicked Witch of the West, which I am so up for. I hope I get the part, I think it will be so much fun!
THE AWAITED EXPLOSION OF OH MY GOD WHAT- This was the highlight of my day. I swear I don't even know what happened, I am still in shock. Lemme just take this slow and try to sort out what happened.
After school every Wednesday a math club is held in the computer lab, which is attached to the library, which is where my mom works, so I sit at her desk after school until we go home. All these people from math club are coming in, and my friend SM (not her real name) stops by to give me a hug and chat. As we are chatting, this boy, who I guess she is friends with, stops at the desk and is kind of looking me over, I guess you could say. He didn't look like a junior higher, so I kind of assumed that he was in sixth grade. Out of no where he just says,"Is this your friend?" Sammy just nods kind of confused, like no duh why else would I be chatting with her. Then he goes,"Well, she's really pretty. I mean, prettier than most girls." AND THEN HE JUST WALKS AWAY. AND ME AND SAMMY ARE SITTING THERE HAVING A SEIZURE.
I am not even kidding. Her face is buried in a book shelf, and I am practically hiding in my folder among my math papers. Her and I are both squealing like little teenage fan girls, and I swear I was so shocked. Then she pats me on the shoulder and walks away, and I'm just sitting there with my mouth wide open and I cannot believe I haven't started hyperventilating yet. A boy has NEVER, let me repeat NEVER said anything like that to me. The closest I have ever gotten to a complement like that was some random guy telling me I seemed really smart.
Then after the club is over he stops by the desk and says,"What's your name?" And I'm thinking oh crap oh crap what he wants my name what is my name hOW DO I NOT REMEMBER MY OWN NAME WHAT and I just kind of blurted it out, he repeated it, smiled at me and left.
I'm still in complete and utter shock.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Updates on the life!
It hath been awhile my kind amigos! And my writing has only gotten weirder :P
How are y'all? Not that anyone is really looking at my blog, but I thought I should ask. I am doing alright, although my life has been sort of crazy as of late.
Firstly, and this might seem like a really private thing to talk about, but it is my blog so I guess it's okay???
I kind got... my period. O-O This is like, my first one too. I hate hate hate it. Honestly, blood pouring uncontrollably from your privates while demon cramps take over your body is honestly sooooo painful. I wanna dieeeeeeee. Today is the third or fourth day tho, so hopefully it starts winding down soon. I have been using soooo many pads, and they are the heavy duty ones too! Talk about Niagra Falls. (TMI, I know, but i just had to say it.) I am not going to school today because the pain was just too much and I didn't want to deal with constantly going to the bathroom to change the pad. Also, what if I stain my jeans? They are pretty dark though, so I am not sure that anyone would really notice.
Other than that, I have schoolwork to do since I missed today, so I should probably get started on that soon. I just wanna lay in bed and sleeeepppp. -sigh- There should be a rule that if you have to stay home because it's "that time of the month", then you shouldn't even have to worry about the work.
I am also trying to catch up on Dr. Who since season eight has started. I loveeee Capaldi, I think he is great. So far, he is my second favorite doctor to David Tenant.
Welp, that's about all for now lovies. Have a great life!
See you soon,
Bojo <3
How are y'all? Not that anyone is really looking at my blog, but I thought I should ask. I am doing alright, although my life has been sort of crazy as of late.
Firstly, and this might seem like a really private thing to talk about, but it is my blog so I guess it's okay???
I kind got... my period. O-O This is like, my first one too. I hate hate hate it. Honestly, blood pouring uncontrollably from your privates while demon cramps take over your body is honestly sooooo painful. I wanna dieeeeeeee. Today is the third or fourth day tho, so hopefully it starts winding down soon. I have been using soooo many pads, and they are the heavy duty ones too! Talk about Niagra Falls. (TMI, I know, but i just had to say it.) I am not going to school today because the pain was just too much and I didn't want to deal with constantly going to the bathroom to change the pad. Also, what if I stain my jeans? They are pretty dark though, so I am not sure that anyone would really notice.
Other than that, I have schoolwork to do since I missed today, so I should probably get started on that soon. I just wanna lay in bed and sleeeepppp. -sigh- There should be a rule that if you have to stay home because it's "that time of the month", then you shouldn't even have to worry about the work.
I am also trying to catch up on Dr. Who since season eight has started. I loveeee Capaldi, I think he is great. So far, he is my second favorite doctor to David Tenant.
Welp, that's about all for now lovies. Have a great life!
See you soon,
Bojo <3
Monday, July 28, 2014
My own little introverted world.
All I have been doing this summer is sitting in my room, in my own little world. And I don't really mind it. At least, I don't think I do...
It's just so quiet and peaceful yet crazy, ya-know? Silently crazy, that's my little world. I guess you could say I am an introvert. Wait, I wonder how introvert I am- I wonder if there is an introvert test. I'm gonna go Google it real quick...
-one Google search and a test later-
Apparently I am a 27/100 on the social scale (meaning I am a huge introvert). Wonderful... I mean, I guess it isn't really that bad of a thing. I don't know. Blah. I'm more introverted that I thought. It's a blessing and a curse, I suppose. Wish that more of the people I knew were like that, then maybe I would have more friends.
I feel like writing/complaining about this certain thing, so lemme just do that real quick so I can get it out of my system.
When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with people who didn't make me feel happy about myself. At the beginning the friendship was great, but it started to spiral out of control in the end. Or at least, I was spiraling out of control. It's hard to explain.
One of those friends, I'll call her Kay, really hurt me. It wasn't intentional, she didn't even know that she hurt me. Kay was always full of drama, just constantly finding something to blow up or make a huge deal out of. There were times when she just acted silly and stupid, and it frustrated me. I knew she had a broken family at home, so I couldn't exactly blame her, I guess. Sometimes she acted as if she was supposed to be living in a fantasy world, so she wouldn't take things seriously and get upset when, because of her not taking things seriously, things got messed up. Like, one time there was this dance at our school and she brought money. She put it in her shoe and then she lost it, which didn't surprise me. When she realized she lost it, she started freaking out, saying that her mom was going to kill her. And then when I tried to help her, she would just get pissed off. It was so frustrating, she would come to me like she wanted my help and my comfort, and then when I tried to do that, she would just push me away and snap at me.
Then one day she cut herself with a pencil on purpose. I knew she was somewhat depressed, but not this depressed. It was the way I found out about her cutting herself which really agitated me. She randomly came up to me the morning after she cut herself at school, shoved her arm in front of me, and with a happy smile on and a silly voice, she told me that she had purposefully cut herself with a pencil in science class. It angered me because I was dealing with allot of depression myself, and I took it seriously, not something to joke about. It felt like it was all a joke to her. For the following days to come, Kay kept on complaining about how she might get led poisoning, and that she is probably going to die, and it was just like; why did you cut yourself with a pencil and then complain about it for the rest of the week? You did this to yourself intentionally, and now your complaining. Yes, I understand that you could get led poisoning, and that you want someone to feel bad for you and pout over you, and yes, I would have done that for you if you would have stopped pushing me away, and make my depression feel like a joke.
The fact that I was dealing with my own personal problems didn't help either, causing me to be less compassionate towards others. On the inside, I was a tornado, spiraling out of control. It was a mix of hating myself for who I was, even though there was nothing wrong with me, having no self confidence, and just wanting to know who I was. I never fit in with any group really. I tried to place myself with this group of girls that Kay had introduced me to at the beginning of the year. They were all kind of introverted, nice, and almost all of them loved anime. I couldn't fit in with them either. All they would talk about was anime, and truthfully, I never really liked it. Then I watched the movie, The Avengers, and I was hooked. For some reason I could connect with the characters. I then talked about it at school, and allot of the girls got mad at me for talking about it. Even Kay. For some reason, I thought Kay was going to back me up about it, but she didn't. Two of the girls weren't really into anime, so they didn't get mad at me. They were the only people I really felt comfortable with for the rest of the year. But still, I never felt like I fit in anywhere. I was trying to force myself to fit in, which wasn't fun at all. Sixth grade was the worst year of my life.
Finally, summer came. I sent Kay a message, telling her that I didn't feel our friendship working out. I was hurting, and I wasn't entirely sure why. Trying to fix another person who was hurting and spiraling out of control wasn't going to work for me. She was sad about it, but I cut off all connections so we couldn't ever talk again. It would only be tearing open a wound which was trying to heal. Thankfully, I switched to a better school before seventh grade started, which really helped. I was actually accepted there. I haven't talked to anyone from sixth grade since, and I seem to be doing better. I still feel depressed and alone, but not as bad as before. I have accepted myself for who I am, and I am not trying to fit in anywhere. Everyone at my new school really love me it seems, so it's not like I need to try to fit in anyways. They love that I am obsessed with the Avengers and Dr. Who and they don't get angry when I talked about either of those things.
Thank you for letting me get that out, I really needed it.
Love you all,
Bojo
It's just so quiet and peaceful yet crazy, ya-know? Silently crazy, that's my little world. I guess you could say I am an introvert. Wait, I wonder how introvert I am- I wonder if there is an introvert test. I'm gonna go Google it real quick...
-one Google search and a test later-
Apparently I am a 27/100 on the social scale (meaning I am a huge introvert). Wonderful... I mean, I guess it isn't really that bad of a thing. I don't know. Blah. I'm more introverted that I thought. It's a blessing and a curse, I suppose. Wish that more of the people I knew were like that, then maybe I would have more friends.
I feel like writing/complaining about this certain thing, so lemme just do that real quick so I can get it out of my system.
When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with people who didn't make me feel happy about myself. At the beginning the friendship was great, but it started to spiral out of control in the end. Or at least, I was spiraling out of control. It's hard to explain.
One of those friends, I'll call her Kay, really hurt me. It wasn't intentional, she didn't even know that she hurt me. Kay was always full of drama, just constantly finding something to blow up or make a huge deal out of. There were times when she just acted silly and stupid, and it frustrated me. I knew she had a broken family at home, so I couldn't exactly blame her, I guess. Sometimes she acted as if she was supposed to be living in a fantasy world, so she wouldn't take things seriously and get upset when, because of her not taking things seriously, things got messed up. Like, one time there was this dance at our school and she brought money. She put it in her shoe and then she lost it, which didn't surprise me. When she realized she lost it, she started freaking out, saying that her mom was going to kill her. And then when I tried to help her, she would just get pissed off. It was so frustrating, she would come to me like she wanted my help and my comfort, and then when I tried to do that, she would just push me away and snap at me.
Then one day she cut herself with a pencil on purpose. I knew she was somewhat depressed, but not this depressed. It was the way I found out about her cutting herself which really agitated me. She randomly came up to me the morning after she cut herself at school, shoved her arm in front of me, and with a happy smile on and a silly voice, she told me that she had purposefully cut herself with a pencil in science class. It angered me because I was dealing with allot of depression myself, and I took it seriously, not something to joke about. It felt like it was all a joke to her. For the following days to come, Kay kept on complaining about how she might get led poisoning, and that she is probably going to die, and it was just like; why did you cut yourself with a pencil and then complain about it for the rest of the week? You did this to yourself intentionally, and now your complaining. Yes, I understand that you could get led poisoning, and that you want someone to feel bad for you and pout over you, and yes, I would have done that for you if you would have stopped pushing me away, and make my depression feel like a joke.
The fact that I was dealing with my own personal problems didn't help either, causing me to be less compassionate towards others. On the inside, I was a tornado, spiraling out of control. It was a mix of hating myself for who I was, even though there was nothing wrong with me, having no self confidence, and just wanting to know who I was. I never fit in with any group really. I tried to place myself with this group of girls that Kay had introduced me to at the beginning of the year. They were all kind of introverted, nice, and almost all of them loved anime. I couldn't fit in with them either. All they would talk about was anime, and truthfully, I never really liked it. Then I watched the movie, The Avengers, and I was hooked. For some reason I could connect with the characters. I then talked about it at school, and allot of the girls got mad at me for talking about it. Even Kay. For some reason, I thought Kay was going to back me up about it, but she didn't. Two of the girls weren't really into anime, so they didn't get mad at me. They were the only people I really felt comfortable with for the rest of the year. But still, I never felt like I fit in anywhere. I was trying to force myself to fit in, which wasn't fun at all. Sixth grade was the worst year of my life.
Finally, summer came. I sent Kay a message, telling her that I didn't feel our friendship working out. I was hurting, and I wasn't entirely sure why. Trying to fix another person who was hurting and spiraling out of control wasn't going to work for me. She was sad about it, but I cut off all connections so we couldn't ever talk again. It would only be tearing open a wound which was trying to heal. Thankfully, I switched to a better school before seventh grade started, which really helped. I was actually accepted there. I haven't talked to anyone from sixth grade since, and I seem to be doing better. I still feel depressed and alone, but not as bad as before. I have accepted myself for who I am, and I am not trying to fit in anywhere. Everyone at my new school really love me it seems, so it's not like I need to try to fit in anyways. They love that I am obsessed with the Avengers and Dr. Who and they don't get angry when I talked about either of those things.
Thank you for letting me get that out, I really needed it.
Love you all,
Bojo
Saturday, July 19, 2014
4th of July, Dr. Who, and other things!
Heyo blogger people! I have stuff to talk about!
So, fourth of July was pretty awesome for me. My Dad wasn't home due to his odd work hours (maybe I will talk about that in another post) so it was just me and my mom. My mom are introverts, so we had planned on just picking up some hot dogs from a gas station and going to the parking lot near this stadium that was going to do a fireworks show.
We thought it was a great plan, but then we forgot that my mom cannot drive on a busy road at night. She has this problem with her eyes where she can't really tell how far away a some things are. She started having a panic attack and I felt so bad. At that point, we decided on just heading home and to chill out and watch Dr. Who, which I was perfectly fine with. Mom was really upset, though. She felt bad that she couldn't drive us to the stadium to see the fireworks, but it really didn't bother me at all. I kept on telling her but she didn't seem to get it; I didn't need to go to any big event to have a fun fourth of July, her and I just chilling out at home with ice cream and Dr. Who made me perfectly happy. Maybe someday she will understand.
But the evening didn't end like that.
As we were driving home, we noticed a ton of people parking in this empty lot in front of a church. Most of them were sitting on the tailgate of their trucks, some had lawn chairs out and sparklers. We realized that they were parking there so they see fireworks from our local ballpark. My mom quickly pulled over, getting us a spot at the front of the lot. It was so sweet of her to do that for me. We both got comfy in the car, setting up the little tin of ketchup on the dashboard so I could dip the hot dog in it while enjoying the perfect video of fireworks. It was the best fourth of July me and my mom ever had.
So that was the first thing I wanted to talk about, onto the second.
I have become very obsessed d with Dr. Who. If you don't know what Dr. Who is, is is a very popular BBC show. I suggest that you search for the newest trailer for Dr. Who, you might really like the show. You can skip this section because I will just be fangirling in this next paragraph.
So first of all, Captain Jack Harkness. So. Stinkin. Cute. I don't know what it is, but I just wanna pinch his cheeks. I am only on the second season of Dr. Who, so I don't really know that much about his character yet. I am still somewhat upset that they just ditched him in the first season near the finale episode, but I read on wiki that he comes back in the third (I think) season. Like, in the middle of it. Also, David Tennant is HILARIOUS. I just watched the episode where Clarissa (thats her name, right?) takes over his body, and she is all like, ooh you like him, I know it, I've been in your brain. So far, that has been my favorite part of the second season. I miss the ninth doctor, but I am starting to warm up to the tenth one so I should be okay. Oh, and my mom bought me the ninth/tenth doctors sonic screwdriver, so that should be in the mail in about five days... can't wait! The screwdriver writes in normal pen ink and UV pen in, lights up, makes fours different noises, and extends! I cannot wait to get it in the metal, I'll be sonic-ing (that's a word... 0-0) everything!
Few, okay. Doctor Who fangirl moment is over. Just had to get that out, thankya.
Summer is almost over :( I am kinda ready for school, but not really. I don't feel like dealing with the people, the schoolwork stress, the grades stress, the anxiety. Sigh. It's not like I have any options though. I can't believe I am going to be an 8th grader. It just happened so fast... I still feel like a seventh grader. I'm not ready. nononono. I can't be an 8th grader. eohfwiufehweiufh.
Sigh sigh sigh sigh. That is all I have been doing lately. Well, I think I'm gonna go. Talk to ya later, crazies.
xoxo
-Bojo
P.S. I have been thinking about changing my blogger name to my real name. Bojo just doesn't fit me anymore, it sounds like the nickname for some burly man.
So, fourth of July was pretty awesome for me. My Dad wasn't home due to his odd work hours (maybe I will talk about that in another post) so it was just me and my mom. My mom are introverts, so we had planned on just picking up some hot dogs from a gas station and going to the parking lot near this stadium that was going to do a fireworks show.
We thought it was a great plan, but then we forgot that my mom cannot drive on a busy road at night. She has this problem with her eyes where she can't really tell how far away a some things are. She started having a panic attack and I felt so bad. At that point, we decided on just heading home and to chill out and watch Dr. Who, which I was perfectly fine with. Mom was really upset, though. She felt bad that she couldn't drive us to the stadium to see the fireworks, but it really didn't bother me at all. I kept on telling her but she didn't seem to get it; I didn't need to go to any big event to have a fun fourth of July, her and I just chilling out at home with ice cream and Dr. Who made me perfectly happy. Maybe someday she will understand.
But the evening didn't end like that.
As we were driving home, we noticed a ton of people parking in this empty lot in front of a church. Most of them were sitting on the tailgate of their trucks, some had lawn chairs out and sparklers. We realized that they were parking there so they see fireworks from our local ballpark. My mom quickly pulled over, getting us a spot at the front of the lot. It was so sweet of her to do that for me. We both got comfy in the car, setting up the little tin of ketchup on the dashboard so I could dip the hot dog in it while enjoying the perfect video of fireworks. It was the best fourth of July me and my mom ever had.
So that was the first thing I wanted to talk about, onto the second.
I have become very obsessed d with Dr. Who. If you don't know what Dr. Who is, is is a very popular BBC show. I suggest that you search for the newest trailer for Dr. Who, you might really like the show. You can skip this section because I will just be fangirling in this next paragraph.
So first of all, Captain Jack Harkness. So. Stinkin. Cute. I don't know what it is, but I just wanna pinch his cheeks. I am only on the second season of Dr. Who, so I don't really know that much about his character yet. I am still somewhat upset that they just ditched him in the first season near the finale episode, but I read on wiki that he comes back in the third (I think) season. Like, in the middle of it. Also, David Tennant is HILARIOUS. I just watched the episode where Clarissa (thats her name, right?) takes over his body, and she is all like, ooh you like him, I know it, I've been in your brain. So far, that has been my favorite part of the second season. I miss the ninth doctor, but I am starting to warm up to the tenth one so I should be okay. Oh, and my mom bought me the ninth/tenth doctors sonic screwdriver, so that should be in the mail in about five days... can't wait! The screwdriver writes in normal pen ink and UV pen in, lights up, makes fours different noises, and extends! I cannot wait to get it in the metal, I'll be sonic-ing (that's a word... 0-0) everything!
Few, okay. Doctor Who fangirl moment is over. Just had to get that out, thankya.
Summer is almost over :( I am kinda ready for school, but not really. I don't feel like dealing with the people, the schoolwork stress, the grades stress, the anxiety. Sigh. It's not like I have any options though. I can't believe I am going to be an 8th grader. It just happened so fast... I still feel like a seventh grader. I'm not ready. nononono. I can't be an 8th grader. eohfwiufehweiufh.
Sigh sigh sigh sigh. That is all I have been doing lately. Well, I think I'm gonna go. Talk to ya later, crazies.
xoxo
-Bojo
P.S. I have been thinking about changing my blogger name to my real name. Bojo just doesn't fit me anymore, it sounds like the nickname for some burly man.
Saturday, June 28, 2014
What inspired the name of my blog?
As you are viewing this blog, you may be wondering why I named it Gentle Drops of Joyful Rain?
Two reasons, which I will discuss further in this post:
Two reasons, which I will discuss further in this post:
- I love the rain
- This is a line in a song that I love
Whenever it rains or gets cloudy, I am at my happiest. All of my worries seem to float away. I love cold and somewhat humid weather which I get rarely where I live. To me, when rain clouds make the sky go dark, I feel cozy and safe. I hate it when the sun is out and shining, everything is too bright and hot. Also, rain smells AMAZING to me, it is such a fresh and relaxing smell.
The words Gentle Drops of Joyful Rain are part of a wonderful line in a song that I love. The song is called Falling by Eric Loren. The stanza that my line is in goes like this;
Forgive me
Cause I've forgiven you
And wipe away your tears of pain
To gentle drops of joyful rain
For me, that specific set of lyrics are so true, and they mean something to me. I am not entirely sure why. I also love how instead of saying to stop crying, it says to make those tears happy tears instead of sad ones. I hate it when people tell me to stop crying, and if they said that instead, I would feel so much better. Overall, the song is very beautiful. If you would like to read the lyrics, click here. If you want to hear the full song, click here. The first link is to Eric Loren's page, so you can check out the rest of his songs and read a little about him there.
I also have family ties to Eric Loren. He is my fourth cousin, I believe. I think his grandmother was my grandmother's sister or something like that. My Mom has photos of her with him when they were younger, along with his brother. His Dad and Mom email each other sometimes.
If you didn't know, Eric Loren is also an actor. He was in a Doctor Who episode as Mr Diagoras. I LOVE Doctor Who, so I was pretty much shocked when I found out that my fourth cousin was the first human Dalek. Like whoa cus, that is hardcore.
That about wraps it up! You have any questions or comments on this post then comment below! I love to hear what you explorers of the internet have to say. Bye for now!
-Bojo
Friday, June 27, 2014
Hello Hello!
Greetings internet travelers! I see you have found my first post on this blog.
CONGRATS! You get a cyber cookie.
I had a different blog awhile ago, but I ditched it. Over time I forgot it, and I was quite immature when I first started it. If you reallllyyy want to see it, you can go to my blogger profile and check it out.
ANNNYYYWAYYYSS...
This blog will basically be my online diary. I will try my best to post every day and interact with everyone who comments on my posts and makes an effort to interact with me! If you have any constructive criticism on how to make my blog better, please let me know NICELY in the comments.
Ciao!
-Bojo
(p.s. Bojo isn't my real life name, just a cover name because I don't feel comfortable telling a ton of random peeps on the interwebs my real name :0)
CONGRATS! You get a cyber cookie.
I had a different blog awhile ago, but I ditched it. Over time I forgot it, and I was quite immature when I first started it. If you reallllyyy want to see it, you can go to my blogger profile and check it out.
ANNNYYYWAYYYSS...
This blog will basically be my online diary. I will try my best to post every day and interact with everyone who comments on my posts and makes an effort to interact with me! If you have any constructive criticism on how to make my blog better, please let me know NICELY in the comments.
Ciao!
-Bojo
(p.s. Bojo isn't my real life name, just a cover name because I don't feel comfortable telling a ton of random peeps on the interwebs my real name :0)
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